the day after is always just damage control
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
