Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize