he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
