drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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