Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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