wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
