So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
