and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize