My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
