why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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