ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
