you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
