Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
