ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
