i can't believe i had my finger in that
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize