my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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