Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize