DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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