i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
