You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
