ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
