Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
