Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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