I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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