She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
