she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
