You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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