Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
