I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
