Do you still have your period?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize