Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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