i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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