glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
