I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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