yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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