just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
