used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
