i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize