there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
