I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
