What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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