I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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