Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
