Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize