I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
