yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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