Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
