why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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