I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
