I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
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