thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
