"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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