sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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