Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
