That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize