Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
