Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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