Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
