And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's shark week go big or go home
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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