my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
