trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
