Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
